What is the most irresponsible thing I could possibly do?

Go to a concert in Baltimore the night before I have 2 tests and a performance? Christ, I'm all about the self-sabotage. Hmm. Steps must be taken to minimize the damage, such as intense pre-Thursday studying. Or not doing this. I'm not sure how we'll be getting down to Baltimore, anyway, so this could be worrying for naught. All shall become clear as the week unfolds.

hey, it's a guy, but whatever. I guess I can be androgynous.

Which Empire Records character would YOU be? Hmmm?
This quiz made while Angel was procrastinating her ass off.

Ack!

So I wrote this post about how I wrote this post about how awesome this weekend was, but the post about the awesome weekend didn't get published. But apparantly, it did. See below. Ye gods!

I HATE TECHNOLOGY

So I just wrote this really long post about how awesome this weekend was, and how I got amazingly inspired by all the workshops I went to, and how Caitlin drew an uncircumcised penis on the mirror in soap, and how I kicked Kristine in the head and fell off the bed backwards... But then it wouldn't publish. So you don't get to know these amazing things. Too bad for you, bitches.

Never take me anywhere!

This weekend was just really fantastic. Friday night was mostly a meet and greet, and they showed a movie about the post-9-11 racial profiling, which was really powerful. They had interviews with people who were picked up and held in detention centers, without their families (who had not been informed)... many of those people had been deported. It's one of those things I really wish the people I grew up with could see. One of the most important things about getting through to people is putting a human face on these issues. Also: Ming Jay got stuck in the revolving door. Which was GREAT.

So Saturday, I got up around 7, and the seven of us drove back up to Philadelphia. The refugees/asylum seekers workshop was amazing. They had these three people who had come into the US as asylum seekers... All of them had been fleeing for their lives. Most people like them are held in detention for months to years before they can see an immigration judge... and those judges are able to decide based on subjective criteria. I found out that it is possible for me to take a weekend long bootcamp-like training session, after which I would technically be able to go into immigration prisons and talk to asylum seekers, getting the information that Amnesty needs to help them out. The second workshop I took was about recruiting/retaining members... I think I got a lot of fantastic ideas for things to do... I want there to be an Amnesty table at my recital. The lunch plenary was pretty decent, and we learned about a special focus case that I might bring to our group. Then I went to this information session/discussion about Sexual and Reproductive rights... there's a big debate about whether or not Amnesty should take a position on abortion... I think not, just because it's such a gray area, and if there are not international standards, it is not a good idea for us to take a definite position. (Particularly as it may alienate some right to life people, who believe that the fetus is a life.) The second plenary was about human rights abuses in the name of the war on terror... one of the panelists was the attourney for the prisoners who have been abused in Iraq. After that, I went up to the hotel room, and crashed with everyone else... the dinner/youth caucus was good... I made trouble with a bottle of ketchup in the middle of a speech. I think I want to go to a training camp in January... cause it's free, and on a farm in West Virginia. We decided that we need to market sippycups for the navy, so that they don't spill their drinks when the boat rocks.

Saturday night, we had a hotel room party with some of the kids from another school... first time I had been drunk in probably over a month. Good conversations, good drinks... I even got to speak german with a german. I kicked Kristine in the head and fell off the bed backwards. It was beautiful. Caitlin drew an uncircumcised penis on the mirror in soap.

Today, I unfortunately had problems staying awake during the first plenary, though I think it was good... there were two women from Bahrain and Turkey, talking about the situations in their countries. Then I went to a workshop about human rights and education... I'd like to do something in schools around here, maybe. After that, we drove back... there was other stuff going on, but Kristine needed to get back. It seems to have been a good idea, cause her car is now broken. *sigh* So now I have to do real work. Goddammit. I hate work. Why can't I just go to fun conferences all the time?

each small candle

As I was walking back to my apartment a few minutes ago, this big gray plane slowly flew by overhead. I get chills every time I see one of those, because I know what it's carrying- bodies of soldiers who died in Iraq, headed for Dover airforce base. It was probably about a year ago that the pentagon released just a few pictures of flag-covered coffins. I get so upset when I think about the fact that these people who talk about supporting our troops don't honour the dead. The military is such a grotesque hypocrisy. They come into your high school promising to pay for your college education if you serve your country. You play video games so that when you are in a foreign country, you don't see human beings- you see video game characters. But while you're serving your country, what are they doing for you? So many of the homeless in this country are vetrans whose lives were destroyed fighting for this country. And in Iraq? "We go to war with the army we have, not the army we wish we had." What about that army we have? How dare you ask someone to fight for his country, and send him out without the body armour to protect himself? Soldiers I have talked to say that they stay voluntarily past their contract date, even with inadequate body armor, so that they can be with their friends, and help them through this nightmare. Men like that deserve more than to be sent into a needless and futile war that is being waged for corporations like Haliburton and Texaco who will reap benefits they will never see. Men and women who die in Iraq deserve more than to have their lives put at stake, and then cut short, only to have their coffins hidden from sight. 1900 American soldiers have died needlessly for this war. It is time to back out and let independent organizations who do not have corporate interests take over. The Iraqi people are not stupid- they know that the reason America is so invested in this war is not for their well-being. It is for their oil, and the money that reconstruction contracts will bring in. They will never respect a police service that is trained by the people that is trained by America. The UN does not have corporate interests in the reconstruction of Iraq. If they oversee the military disengagement and organize the reconstruction effort, it will have legitimacy. If the Iraqi people feel that they are not being plundered by an enormous western nation, they will believe in the peace process.

The problem is: How do we convince the Powers The Be that this is what needs to happen? The fact is, we know what needs to happen. If it was a question of improving the lives of the Iraqi people, the Bush Administration would have been long gone- gone as soon as the puppet government was "in power." With maybe a few troops there to maintain the illusion of fighting terrorism. But as long as Bush and his cronies are in power, they will never relenquish their hope of getting a hole of a- reconstruction contracts, and b- the oil in the middle east. So what do we do? How do we make it impossible for them? I don't know.

Tabula Rasa v. the bad music played by the people below me

My partner for theater is gone for Yom Kippur today, so I'm not going to class... Turns out that not having anything from 1pm-6:30pm is a tall order for the likes of me. I've been so busy lately that I don't really know what to do with myself right now. All my obligations are in the distance, it seems. It has been raining for about a week straight, now. I'm definitely not tired of the rain or the cold, but I think it's making me kind of lethargic. I practiced with a blindfold again today... I can't figure out why that works so well vocally. Maybe it's somethign to do with blocking out the visual distractions and self-inhibitions. I'll have to ask Dr. D tomorrow at my lesson. I'm going to make miso soup tonight. Hopefully it will go well.

woke up, got out of bed, dragged a comb across my head...

I got up today feeling like it was my birthday. Or... I was woken up by construction, and I couldn't sleep anymore... and then after about a minute or so, I felt like it was my birthday. I had some eggs and toast and coffee for breakfast. Yay for cooked foods! Also, my icky social psych class is cancelled today, because my instructor is ill. Maybe it's a sickness that is particular to tools. ha-HA!

"Grandma's famous un-meatballs"

Ah! I'm almost done with the detox! Tomorrow I get to eat cooked food! It's been a good experience, I think. I think that if I could, I would just fast, instead of doing the whole raw foods bit. The reason for doing the raw foods before and afterwards, however, is that you get a lot of nutrients from raw foods, and it empties your digestive system before the fast, and eases it back into the digesting process afterwards. The co-op has these "raw lifeline" things you can buy... I bought these things called "grandma's famous un-meatballs," because they seemed the least overpriced... they're all right, but you can really taste the nuts used in it... I guess people who are allergic to nuts couldn't go on a raw food diet.

She made herself a bed of nails...

Denis came over tonight, and we had one of our wine and movie nights. Tonight, the feature was Harold and Maude, and Chardonnay. The movie was amazing, and the wine was nice. Not the most amazing I have tasted, but it had a lightness that I enjoyed. I have not had wine in probably over a month. I need to drink more wine. It would be good for my soul. I have been really down all week, for some unknown reason. Maybe I'm having another existential crisis. After work, today, I sat outside the library wondering what I could possibly do that was new. I thought maybe I would sit on the roof of the music building and write in my diary, but it was gross, and hot up there. Tomorrow, I will commence a three-day detox. The first and third day, you eat all raw foods (fruit, vegetables, nuts). The second day is a fast. Tomorrow, I think we are watching videos in my geology, and my psych classes. Music History will be Music History. I have not practiced as much as I "ought to," this week, so... we shall see, with regards to my voice lesson. I get a real nap tomorrow afternoon. The Friday Afternoon Nap is a Great Event.

Sit down. Stand up.

AGH. I am skipping my psych class, because I already feel like everything I touch turns to mildew (much like the mildew which sprouts on Lenin's cadaver, still on display in Red Square), and 50 minutes of my moronic instructor advertising for himself is *NOT* what I need. So far, my social psychocolgy class basically has consisted of taking notes on things that are just common sense, but have weird names like "self-presenting" and "availability heueristic." And... yes. The instructure is some useless grad student who spends half the class telling us about his boring life, his girlfriend, and his drinking habits. And his hot tamales. We mustn't forget those. He's studying workplace incentives in corporate environments. Naturally, that just makes me want to tear off my clothes and make love to him up against the massive chalkboard of Smith 140. Really. I care.

Legalize me!

"Don't be afraid of the word abroad. In the old days a man had to travel the world and the seven seas to be a man, these days they sit in front of the TV and talk about globalization."
-Eugene Hutz

The Gogol Bordello show last night was pretty fantastic. The opening bands were talentless and annoying, but I quite enjoyed the main event. That said, it's over 12 hours later, and my ears are still ringing just a little, which is a little disconcerting, and I have a really irritating pain in my neck/shoulders. I may have taken some fantastic pictures, though.

The overall verdict: An incredibly fun time, but I'd much rather go to the opera... that's just the fucked up way I am.

A beautiful Saturday before me... weekends are so full of possibility, in the beginning. Plans for the day: tidying the apartment will begin with a trip (or two) to the recycling center... A salvation army detour may also be in order. Geology studying cannot be avoided, but perhaps I could take my cards on a hike, or something. I want to make something today.