GREAT

The past twenty-four hours have been really really busy, sort of unpleasant, but unbelievably hilarious. Oh... GOD, I'm laughing so hard.

Thing that makes me feel at least moderately good about life...

Eating food that I have prepared myself. Okay, so the veggieburger I bought was pre-made. As was the (amazing) beer I'm drinking... It's a Belgian white ale, called Hoegaarden, and it's incredibly smooth, with a slightly spicy hop flavor, and a malty (though not sweet) aftertaste... says the beersnob Today, I finally hauled my ass to the cleaners to pick up my black dress that has been there since before spring break. It would have been thrown out on Tuesday. Pathmark was in the same shopping center, so I finally went grocery shopping, and came home with many a good thing, including asparagus, artichokes, brie and edam cheeses, yogurt, and generic cereal. So the moral of that story is that I finally have makings for some yummy food... and tonight, at least, I had time to make it. So I made mashed potatoes (an extremely rare craving), and asparagus tossed in a citrus marinade, and I heated up a veggieburger... altogether, incredibly satisfying... and I have leftovers. Yes. So I'm still not feeling altogether wonderful about the next few days, or life in general, but this definitely made things better.

salt and vinegar is not a flavor of eggs

Yesterday I woke up in the best of all possible moods, and ended up really feeling awful and uncertain about life... that feeling has carried over to this morning, so maybe I'll feel great by tonight. The hard boiled egg from easter that I tried to eat turned out to be raw, so I poached it... and it tasted like vinegar. Why do people like poached eggs? They're probably just saying they like them, because they're healthy. This weekend, I'm going to be in rehearsal for 9 hours... 11.5, if you count today's rehearsal. It really is the bane of my existence... All I want is for it to be over, so I can stop feeling bitter... I really try not to, but it just seems so patently obvious that I was arbitrarily screwed. Only maybe it's not arbitrary, and that probably makes it worse.

Goal for today: find something to make me feel great about life.

Hallelujah

Going to Charlotte's in a few to celebrate Shana's recital. Should be fun, though it makes me kind of sad that I haven't had a lot of alone time this weekend... I had rather hoped for it, but I knew it was kind of a pipedream, looking at what I had to do... and Gracin's birthday was yesterday, so I attended festivities for that. Tequila is my exotic friend. Maybe my alone time happened when I did my taxes this morning. I did make myself a nice breakfast. An interesting paradox with me is that I tend to feel more alone when I spend extended amounts of time with people. Maybe that goes back to the earlier entry about recognizing the limits of friendships.

Spring usually makes me think about D, whom I dated freshman year. There was something so nice about that- a kind of freedom. It's not that I have any desire to rekindle our relationship... but I think that it's important to be with someone with whom I don't feel constrained- either by him or by worry. Of course the difference between the amount of time I spend thinking about a relationship, and the amount of time I spend actually having one is pretty large, so it's a moot point.

Also: I feel an impetus to fulfill my new year's resolution to stay out all night.

burning down the house

I realize that at some point I might as well start doing some real work... otherwise, I'd just be better off limping around in this gorgeous weather... my brain is a little overcaffeinated to work correctly... I have that kind of itchy feeling behind the eyes. It'll pass. I will begin. Soon.

Spring break has been really nice. I spent some of it in Baton Rouge with Matt, and that was really nice. The weather was beautiful. Sitting on the levy watching the boats and barges on the Mississippi river. Dancing until I'm about to pass out and walking home through a ridiculously sketchy part of town. Visiting New Orleans and realizing what a remarkable place it is, even after the disaster.

Came back Friday, Amnesty conference/planning on Saturday... and fun relaxing times Saturday night. Now, I pay for my sins in good works.